Two thousand ten came as quickly as it left. It was as though a tornado came ripping through and left in its path a new baby, a bigger and busier family and time stripped away from each day. It was full of excitement, surprise, joy, TRUE joy and it was happy, but 2010 also brought frustration, heartache and death. Lately, I have caught myself reflecting on the experiences and moments of the passing year. The baby girl I just birthed is about to celebrate her very first birthday. My two oldest are maturing and growing way to fast for my heart to keep up! I have more wrinkles and my sweet husband has more gray...
It was a wonderful, crazy, exciting year for me, but I regret to say there are things I would do so differently. How could I change certain things, how could I make things better, create more time, have less confusion, live in the moment. Like a heavy fist it hits me...I felt like I gave my all, to everything, to everyone...including God. I lived for Him, loved Him, but I didn't always give Him my first! The best of me, the beginning. I gave Him what was left over. And, after a day of refluffing and folding, loving, listening, cooking, cleaning and then doing it again... I gave it to Him, held it up as a child brings you a found object. It WAS all I had, it was what I had left. It wasn't the best of me, all of me, my first!
Please don't get me wrong, this past year was full of love, laughter and blessings. But I yearned for something more, something greater. Resolutions! Smesolutions! I am doing it! I am giving God the best of me, all of me, my first! Then and only then, will I catch that quiet moment in each day, time with my blessings, an actual conversation and exchange of smiles with my best friend, grace that breathes in new life to an exhausted mother of three.
I have given Him the first of each day and He has breathed in fresh breath with His Word. I am going to again, attempt to hide His Word in my heart! (Oh GOD of second CHANCES and New beginnings...here I am AGAIN!) It is a verse that I have hidden before, but it is a favorite and I want to make sure it sticks! I want it to roll like the names of my children flow from my mouth...
NEHEMIAH 8:10...thank you Lord for YOUR Joy, your strength, the strength that can only flow from YOUR Joy...
" ...Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”
I pray that 2010 treated you well and 2011 is full of hope, joy and grace. I pray that you take time to allow Him to breath new life into you with His WORD. And, may you continue with me to hide HIS Word in our hearts!
Give Him your FIRST!
